


Jensen Of The Jungle

by Codependent_Idiots



Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: M/M, Movie fic, inspired by george of the jungle, j2 at the movies fic fest, jared is the love interest/explorer, jensen is george, misha is the snobby fiance, sorry not sorry i needed someone to be the asshole
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-18
Updated: 2020-08-18
Packaged: 2021-03-06 08:22:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,080
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25966576
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Codependent_Idiots/pseuds/Codependent_Idiots
Summary: After being lost since he was baby in the jungle, Jensen has grown up among the apes, earning him the nickname 'King of the Jungle'. Jared is someone who has always dreamed of going on adventures and going exploring to various places. When Jared is (literally) swept off his feet by this vine-swinging ape man, how could you not have a silly romantic comedy in the making?Based on 'George of the Jungle' for the J2 At The Movies Fic Fest on Tumblr.
Relationships: Jensen Ackles/Jared Padalecki
Comments: 1
Kudos: 24
Collections: J2 at the Movies





	Jensen Of The Jungle

**Author's Note:**

> Alright so a couple notes:  
> * this is the first J2 thing I've ever written, so, yeah...  
> * in this, J2 are more based on their movie characters than anything else  
> * some lines in this have been taken directly from the movie, some have been altered, and some I just made up as I went along  
> * now, a big note - Misha does make some appearances in this as Jared's fiance - if you have seen the movie, you know Ursula's (Jared's character) fiance is a COMPLETE DICKWAD. I needed someone to be the asshole. Sorry. Almost all of his lines have been taken in context from the movie. His character is really just that big of a dick. But still, if that is gonna bother ya'll, then I highly suggest you find another fic to read.
> 
> If you're still reading after that smorgasbord of chaos, then enjoy :)

**_Jen, Jen_ ** **_  
_ ** **_Jensen of the Jungle_ ** **_  
_ ** **_Strong as he can be_ ** **_  
_ ** **_(AHHHHHHHH!)_ ** **_  
_ ** **_Watch out for that tree!_ **

~~

**30 years ago, in the jungles of Africa, a plane went down, making the people lose their most precious cargo - a small baby boy named Jensen. Jensen was taken in by the apes and they raised him to be the King of the Jungle. He was strong, able to swing between vines from tree to tree as his preferred method of traveling among his brothers, the apes. All the animals respected him as the King of the Jungle, but little did any of them know, there was a terrifying intruder lurking nearby...**

**~~**

Jared smiled widely at the camera, dimples shining as he waved when he got the okay from the man holding it. “Hi everyone! Me again! Third day out here, and look what we found today!” he said, voice dropping to a quieter tone as he waved the camera to follow him as he went to a nearby tree and pointed up into it. The camera moved up from him and towards the tree, where three small monkeys could be seen playing together. For Jared, it was great - the whole reason he was out here was to study the different types of monkeys and apes and to see them all for himself. He gave a happy grin to the camera and the man behind it couldn’t help returning it. Jared’s grin was infectious. Everyone he was traveling with - hell, all the natives he’d met so far - loved the young man. He was just a genuinely good, happy person, a pure joy to be around. “Aren’t they just adorable?” he asked the camera, eyes shining at the small monkeys. 

Jared was out here in the wide jungles of Africa, on a researching excursion, as well as just enjoying himself. None of his family could understand what he enjoyed about being out in the  _ jungle _ of all places, but to him, that didn’t matter. 

As they made their way back to camp, Jared was handed the camera so he could start recording their surroundings. “There’s my tent, there’s the outhouse -  _ which you do not want to see, trust me - _ there’s the porters - say hi guys!” he said, waving at the three men who helped make sure no one forgot anything. They all waved happily, laughing and joking. Jared was lucky to have found such wonderful people to help him on his excursion. He gave them another wave and then turned, finding their guide standing by his jeep. “There’s our guide. Without him, we would be lost,” Jared said, waving at the older man who waved back and took an exaggerated bow. He could help the small giggle that escaped him - he loved working with these men, all of them so friendly and helpful to the young man. He gave him another wave and turned, seeing their camp through the lens of the camera. “And here’s the…  _ MIsha?” _ Jared gasped -and anyone could tell, it was not as happy a gasp as someone would think - as the camera zoomed in on a jeep with three men getting out, one of them his fiance. 

“Hello!” the older man called, waving his hand with a smug smile on his face. Jared’s face was just frozen in shock.

“Misha… What are you doing here?!” he asked, wondering what the hell could bring his fiance all the way out to the jungles of Africa.

“That’s not something to say to your fiance!” he laughed loudly as he came towards Jared. “Aren’t you happy to see me?”

“Yeah…” he started as Misha walked up to him and pulled him into a forceful kiss. He returned it with a small ‘hmmph’ as they pulled away, resisting the urge to wipe at his lips. He hated when he did stuff like that. “What are you doing here?” he asked again with a small frown. “How did you find me?”

Let him retiriate - he was in  _ Africa _ . That was a hell of a long way from home.

“I hired the two best trackers in the business!” he said, proud and smug and it made Jared want to crawl into a hole. He looked over Misha’s shoulder to see these two ‘best trackers’ fumbling with their bags and arguing with each other. Misha then stepped back and put an arm around Jared’s waist, keeping him against his side as he began to steer him towards his tent. Jeez, this was going to make the rest of this trip exhausting…

…

That night, as the group sat around the fire after eating what they would call dinner, Jared was riveted by the porters as they told them about something called the ‘White Ape’ - apparently he was the leader of the apes, stronger and bigger than the rest. Misha wasn't impressed with this story, rolling his eyes and scoffing the whole time.

"I came to take you home Jared," he said, cutting off one of the porters in the middle of their story. "The jungle is no place for a delicate being like yourself."

"I wanna stay," Jared countered, frowning at Misha. "We're gonna climb the mountain tomorrow to go see the big apes." Misha rolled his eyes again but gave Jared what he thought was a charming smile but was more of a grimace. 

"Anything for you,” he said, not looking too happy about this, but he wasn’t going to argue in front of strangers. That would be uncivilized.

…

The next morning - after a harrowing incident with Misha being a douchebag as usual and a porter falling off a bridge - the group finally made it up to the top of the mountain. Jared was in awe - it was a stunning sight. The mountain was covered in thick green foliage, and he could hear the various calls of different animals around. This right here was one of the reasons he had come out on this excursion. To come see what the locals called ‘Ape Mountain’, to experience this for himself.

That afternoon, after they had set up camp for their time up here on the mountain, Jared could see Misha getting antsy. He had come to take Jared home, and Jared wasn’t listening to him, instead paying all of his attention to the porters and their stories. Growing impatient, he grabbed Jared by the wrist.

“Come on, let’s go.”

“Where? Jared asked, perplexed as Misha began to lead him into the dense jungle around them. “We shouldn’t be out here without a guide, we could get lost!”

“You want an ape, I’m gonna find you an ape. That way we can get the heck out of here,” he said, muttering the last part as he led Jared farther into the jungle, calling out for the apes like you would for a cat or dog. Jared rolled his eyes. Misha was being ridiculous. The two came to a quick stop though when they heard some leaves rustling around them. When nothing happened after a few minutes, they both sighed in relief.

And then a lion jumped out towards them, making them both yell as it began to stalk closer to them. Misha grabbed onto Jared’s shoulder and then made a strangled noise.

“I’m gonna…. Go get help. You wait here!” he called, already running away from his fiance, leaving him to face the lion alone. Misha didn’t get far, falling on his face like a dumbass by tripping over a root since he didn’t watch where he was going, knocking himself unconscious in the process. Jared couldn’t even check on him because the lion had him in its sights. Jared backed up, trying to make himself as small as possible as the lion stalked closer, growling at him.

“I’m gonna die,” he muttered, closing his eyes as the lion steadily drew closer. What Jared didn’t know was that someone was watching this interaction up in the trees. His head jerked up when he suddenly heard yelling coming from somewhere, the lion distracted as well. Jared’s mouth fell open on a gasp as suddenly he saw something - no, someone, it looked like a man - swing down on a vine, still yelling. It swung right past the lion and smack dab into a tree, making Jared wince. That looked like it hurt. But then the man - Jared could now tell, this was  _ definitely _ a man - was falling on top of the lion and rolling to his feet. The lion now distracted, Jared went to hide behind some rocks as he watched the scene unfold.

The man who was now facing off with the lion was tall, and strong, body rippling with muscles. And he was  _ naked _ \- well, he wore nothing but a simple loincloth around his crotch, so  _ mostly _ naked. Surprisingly, his hair was shorter than Jared’s, sheared short and messy, a few strands hanging down over his forehead. Jared couldn’t look away as the lion jumped, the man moving out of his path, only for the lion to turn back around and knock the man to his feet. He watched them fight, the man seeming to win as he knocked the lion down. Jared gave him a grateful smile, then yelled as the lion was running toward him. Suddenly he was up in strong arms and swinging on the vine. He looked at the man in shock, the man said something, but so much had happened, he was in shock, only yelling again as his head was knocked into a tree limb, himself falling unconscious now. 

….

**While Jared was being whisked away to be cared for by the jungle man, Misha had woken up and yelled as he watched his fiance lying limp in the arms of some wild man as he swung through the trees. He stumbled around in shock before he messed himself up, ripping at his shirt and rubbing berries onto his skin to make it look like he was bleeding. He would make himself look like the victim in this fight, and that ape-man-thing had beaten him and taken Jared from him.**

**Meanwhile, Jared was waking up, unaware that he was being observed...**

**…**

Jared blinked his eyes open wearily, looking at his surroundings. He was in some type of hut, treehouse maybe? Laying in a surprisingly soft bed, he sat up to get a better look. The treehouse - because he could tell he was definitely up in the air now - was large and very nicely put together surprisingly. He vaguely remembered a dream, or maybe a brief bout of consciousness, where there was the man looming over him, looking at him curiously, while an… ape? Yes, an actual ape, stood behind him. And the man had asked his name and then had said his name was...Jensen? Jared didn’t think he imagined that. 

He made his way out into the clearing surrounding the treehouse, taking in the beauty of the area. And then he caught sight of the man coming out of the trees, and Jared couldn’t help smiling at him.

“Jensen!” Jensen gave him a bright smile as he came up to him.

“Jared!” Jensen looked like an overexcited puppy as he smiled at the other man - and why wouldn’t he be excited? This was the first time he had seen another one like himself, and it made his tummy feel all funny. As Jared came to stand in front of him, his own smile grew. For some reason, being around Jared just made him feel good.

“Hey. Um… I woke up and remembered the lion. You saved me. Thank you.” Jensen beamed again, feeling a puff of pride at saving the young man. “The people I was with are probably going crazy looking for me. Probably think I’m cat food by now. I need to find them. Can you help me?” Jensen frowned now, face furrowing in confusion.

“Jared wants to leave already?” Jared shrugged and gave Jensen an apologetic smile.

“I gotta get back.” Jensen frowned but then nodded. 

“Jensen help Jared get back.” Jared gave him a big smile, and Jensen’s tummy felt all funny again. 

…

Jared had started out really wanting to find his group -and his fiance - but Jensen showed him all of his favorite spots in the jungle on their way, and he was having so much fun, he wasn’t really as concerned as he should be. Jared did end up drifting off after Jensen showed him around, and Jensen couldn’t help watching him.

Jared made his tummy flutter and made him have stirrings of something he wasn’t quite sure of what it meant. But he knew he didn’t want Jared to go away.

“Ape?” Jensen asked, making his brother - an actual ape who could talk and converse but had gone silent as not to freak out Jared - look at him. “How Jensen make Jared his mate?” 

…

Late afternoon, after a lengthy conversation with Ape about how to make Jared his mate, Jensen took him to his most favorite spot - a large waterfall. Jared was in awe of the sheer beauty of it. This was the type of adventure he had always wanted, and even though he was lost in the jungle with a wild jungle man - the so-called ‘King of the Jungle’ - he couldn’t find it in himself to be worried. He was feeling happier than he had in a long time. And Jensen was so sweet - Jared had never met a man like him.

After their swim and spending some time with Jensen showing Jared some caves that were hidden by the waterfall, they spent the evening sitting around a fire so they could warm up.

“Thanks for… all of this,”Jared said, and Jensen gave him a bright smile.

“King of jungle here to help,” he said, making Jared chuckle and avert his eyes. He took this as a chance to look at the cord around the older man’s neck, seeing a large tooth hanging off the end.

“Did you fight a crocodile for this?” he asked, reaching out and gently touching the tooth. Jensen laughed and shook his head.

“No. Crocodile had toothache. Jensen help. Crocodile gave tooth as a thank you. Good juju.” Jared raised an eyebrow and Jensen laughed again. “Good luck.”

"I have something like that," he said, pulling a small charm from his pocket. “I found this in a cereal box when I was a kid. It’s my juju,” he said, blushing slightly when Jensen smiled at him. “Come here,” he said, having Jensen lean towards him. He was focused on putting the charm on the cord around Jensen’s neck; he didn’t notice how Jensen was slowly pressing his face into Jared’s hair. Jared sat back and looked at the charm now nestled next to the tooth. “I want you to have this. As a thank you for taking care of me.”

“Thank you. This best gift Jensen ever got,” he said, making Jared chuckle a bit as he met Jensen’s warm green eyes.

…

The next morning, Misha was griping about the long trek they had made on their search for Jared. The porters were ready to throw him off a cliff. The only thing that spared him this fate was the sound of a laugh.

“Jared.” Misha was about to scream out to his fiance, but then there was a hand over his mouth by one of his trackers. But they weren’t really trackers, they were hunters, and they were after the white ape. So they followed the sound of Jared’s laugh and came up to a treehouse. But when they noticed the so-called “white ape” was just a man, they quickly set their sights on his elephant friend. Misha was just even more incensed now though. A man! The white ape was a man! Who had ran off with his fiance! He would show him. He pulled what he thought looked like a small gun - that he thought was his lighter - out of his pocket. “I’ll show him.” Misha made his way up to the treehouse, calling out for Jared. “Jared, it’s Misha! Your man, come to save you.”

When Jared saw Misha was there, he was less than impressed, especially when the older man tried to kiss him.

“Don’t get all smoochy and disgusting with me! I remember what you did when that lion came!” Jared said, turning away from him. Misha tried to save his ass, trying to say he fought off the lion, but Jared wasn’t having it. He yelled for Jensen, catching the older man’s attention. 

“Jared?” he asked, turning to go make his way to the younger man. He stopped when he heard a cock of a gun, eyes finding the trackers about to shoot a tranquilizer at his elephant. “NO!” Ape wasn’t going to have this though. He jumped down and screamed for the elephant to run. Making the four non-jungle dwelling humans to exclaim in surprise when they heard him talk. The trackers now set their sights on Ape, determined to make a fortune off of the talking primate. “NO!!!” Jensen yelled, running to jump in between the trackers and Ape. But Misha, being the dickwad he was, raised what he thought was his lighter, to hopefully scare Jensen off, and hit the trigger.

“NO! Jensen!” 

…

Jared was never more thankful for his wealth than he was right now. He was taking Jensen back with him to America, where he would get him the medical care he needed for his bullet wound. The hunters were thrown in jail and then deported, stuck in Africa, while Misha was put into jail for his assault and attempted murder of Jensen. The porters had no trouble pointing him out in a lineup.

With Misha out of the way, Jared had all of his focus on Jensen. Jensen was amazed by everything around him. There was just so much, he didn’t know where to look first. He found himself outside on the balcony of Jared’s apartment, staring out at the darkening city with all of its different bright lights. 

“You must be tired,” Jared said softly, making Jensen blink and focus on him. “I’ll set up the couch for you.”

“No, Jensen sleep out here in treehouse.” Jared smiled and nodded.

“Okay. Goodnight Jensen,” he said, leaning over to press a gentle kiss to Jensen’s cheek before he turned to head back inside. 

‘Sleep sweet Jared.” Jared got a small happy smile at that and ducked his head as he glanced back at Jensen.

“Sleep sweet Jensen.”

…

The next morning, after an incident that left Jared seeing  _ all _ of Jensen in his naked -wet, naked- glory, he had to take the man out to get him some decent clothes. Once they were done, they strolled around the city, Jared showing Jensen  _ his _ jungle. 

And who happened to see these two walking together? None other than Jared’s mother, who narrowed her eyes - her son hadn’t been answering her calls, and she couldn’t get ahold of Misha, and now her son was walking around with another man?! She had to know what was going on here.

…

The next day, Jared had to go to work and face his parents. He had to tell them what happened to Misha, and that they would not be getting married. He told Jensen to stay in the apartment until he got back, and Jensen had every intention of doing what Jared said… at least for a while.

Jared was wishing he had not gone into work this morning - he should have just called his parents, told them over the phone. Now he had walked into an engagement party they decided to throw for him and Misha, and Jared just wanted to crawl into a hole. 

Jensen, on the other hand, was having a hell of a fun day. He lounged on Jared’s couch, tried all of his different foods, and then had tried coffee. He  _ liked _ coffee. But now, buzzed on coffee, he left the apartment and went to explore the city. He ended up on the bridge, helping a man who had gotten tangled up in his parachute. Then he got stuck in the parachute himself before he swung down, hollering in delight as he did so. He was rescued by the ferry, where Jared met him, having seen his adventures on TV. 

As they hugged, Jared so glad to see Jensen safe, they were filmed on the local news, where Jared’s mom saw them, screaming in the middle of the hair salon.

…

The next day, Jared was  _ determined _ to tell his parents he was not going to marry Misha. His parents had invited all the high-society people of the city to come and celebrate their wedding, and now he got to tell everyone he wasn’t going to do this.

His mother screamed so loud it broke the glass in her hand. Jared sighed and resisted the urge to roll his eyes as she began to rant and yell. 

“We have anyone who is anyone coming to our house tonight to celebrate your engagement today! I thought we’d be introducing them to Misha! Not some vine-swinging jungle man!” Jared took a deep breath to keep himself from yelling back at her.

“Mom, I’m not marrying Misha! He  _ shot _ Jensen! Who literally did nothing to him! He’s in jail in a whole different country! This is not going to happen.” His mother scoffed and shook her head. “Listen, I’m ready to go out there and tell all those people that the wedding isn’t going to happen.”

“No! No. You… you caught some… jungle virus, that is just making you talk crazy right now. When Misha gets back, you will just have to kiss and make up!” Jared looked like he was about to start yelling, so his dad stepped in.

“Where’s your new friend? We’d love to meet him.” 

…

And meet him they did. His mom was trying to show over a gigantic wedding cake - which was pointless, because Jared was not going to marry Misha - and luckily Jensen had swung right into it, smashing it into pieces. Not so luckily, he also covered Jared’s parents in cake and frosting.

Jared couldn’t help laughing.

“Jensen, these are my parents…” he said, amid his giggles. Jensen, also covered in cake and frosting, gave them a goofy smile.

“Hi mister and missus Jared.” 

…

That evening, in his parent’s elaborate home, Jared was trying to make small talk with all of his parents' friends who wanted to wish him congratulations on his upcoming engagement. He had promised his parents they could have this night - well, his mother, who was schmoozing with all the upper class and telling everyone how great her son-in-law was going to be - but tomorrow, Jared was telling everyone that Misha was gone and that they would not be getting married.

What Jared didn’t know was that his mom was planning on making sure everything worked out just the way she wanted....

…

**Back in the jungles of Africa, Jensen’s friends were missing their king, and friend. Ape was trying to keep everything in order until Jensen got back, but what none of them were aware of was danger lurking nearby. Ape ended up getting taken by the hunters that had come over with Misha, and they were determined to sell Ape and make a pretty penny off of him - it’s not every day you see a talking ape.**

**But luckily for Ape, this was all seen by a dear friend of Jensen’s, a brightly colored bird, who decided that it would be the one to bring their King of the Jungle home to save the day.**

**…**

Jensen was enjoying himself. There were shiny objects all over and he had plenty of people smiling and talking to him, like he was one of them! And plus, he got to watch Jared smile, and whenever he saw Jared smile, it made him smile and that funny feeling return every time. Ape had told him that that feeling was called love, and Jensen liked it. He liked how Jared made him feel. 

He spied a large bowl of fruit, eyes lighting up as he reached for a banana. Jensen loved bananas. Jared’s mom saw him and huffed as he turned to smile her at, mouth full of the sweet fruit. She grimaced and then painted a polite smile over it. 

“Jensen. Come take a walk with me,” she said, taking his arm and beginning to lead him outside. She nodded and smiled at all the people that passed them bad, Jensen waving and still holding the banana peel in his hand. “You know, dear, I know we haven’t been friends for long,” she said, giving him that polite smile still. “But I know something about you already.” He looked at her curiously and she grinned, reminding him almost of a predator in the jungle that thought they could get to him. He cocked his head as her smile grew. “You’re in love with my son.” Jensen smiled now.

“Missus Jared not so dumb,” he chuckled, making her force out her own chuckle.

“Hardly. Now what concerns me is,” she said, leading Jensen to an outside patio table, “that Jared seems to reciprocate these feelings. And that is not a good thing,” she said, nudging the jungle man to sit down. “See, you and Jared, together, would be unbefitting to his social stature. You see?” She tilted her head and gave him that same sickly sweet smile, and he just looked at her, clearly confused. He had no idea what ‘social stature’ was. She could tell she wasn’t getting through to him and her smile grew. “Let me put it in a way you’ll understand. Where you come from, zebras marry zebras and leopards marry leopards. Stripes with stripes, spots with spots. Well, Jared is a  _ stripe _ . And you are a  _ spot _ . One that I intend to have removed as soon as possible.” The smile fell from her face and Jensen was suddenly reminded of a snake. 

“You no want Jared to love Jensen,” he said, realizing what she was getting at. 

“I’d rather have my tongue nailed to this table every morning at breakfast.”

“That hurt,” he muttered, making her narrow her eyes at him. 

“Not as much as you will if you do anything to screw up my son’s marriage. If you do anything to upset this wedding, I will remove your reason for wearing a loincloth,” she hissed, making Jensen pull away from her. Yeah, that threat he understood. She had that smile back on her face as she stood up. “Have a pleasant evening, Mr. Jungle.”

Jensen’s face fell as he realized what he would need to do. 

…

Jensen was sitting outside on the balcony of Jared’s apartment, taking a look at what would turn out to be his last view of the city. He was suddenly hit by a small bundle of feathers. His bird friend had found him!

“Jensen so happy to see you,” he said as he hugged the bird, who began to chirp and squawk wildly. “Ape kidnapped?” Another squawk. “Ape  _ apenapped? _ ” Jensen save Ape!” He went to move and then stopped. “Jared,” he said, frowning. He couldn’t even say goodbye. He quietly made his way into Jared’s room, watching the younger man sleeping peacefully. He pulled the crocodile tooth off of the cord around his neck and left it in his hand, so Jared would always have something to remember him by. He brushed his messy bangs from his forehead, and then he was gone.

…

Jared woke up, worried and scared when he realized Jensen was gone. He rushed to his parents house, pacing in their study as his mom rattled off some more of her nonsense to him.

“Well of course he went back to the jungle dear,” she said, pouring herself a glass of brandy. “Where else would he go?” she scoffed, making Jared roll his eyes.

“Why would he go without saying goodbye?” Jared argued - he knew Jensen wouldn’t just leave like this, not without a reason, and no without saying goodbye. He just knew something was wrong.

“Well personally, I think it shows good character. He knows he belongs there, and you belong here. It’s all a matter of stripes and spots,” she said, joining Jared’s dad on the couch. Jared’s eyes widened as he whirled on his mom.

“You. What did you say to him?”

“I simply said that if he really cared about you, he would let you get on with your life.” She sipped from her brandy and gave her son a condescending smile. His dad tried to butt in, but she shushed him. “Now don’t give me that look!” she told her son with a shake of her head. “There’s a big difference between marriageable material and a fling in the jungle. And Misha, when he gets back, is marriageable material. Jensen is not.”

“A fling in the jungle. Really? Who said I had a fling in the jungle?!’”

“You don’t think you can fool me do you? You’ve been head over heels for that… ape, ever since you brought him here! Now Jared, that kind of love is fleeting. You’ll get it once you marry Misha.” Jared’s dad smiled as he caught the look that had come over his son’s face.

“Did you say.. Love?” he asked his mom, cocking his head a bit. His mom’s eyes widened in fear.

“No.”

“You did.”

“Jared…”

“You’re right…”

“Don’t say it.”

“I love him. I’m out of here.” Jared turned his back on them and was about to leave, his mom freaking out as he kissed both his parents on their cheeks before he ran out of the room, his mom screaming at him as she chased after him.

Jared had a jungle man to find.

…

Meanwhile, back in Africa, Jensen was racing through the trees to find Ape and rescue his brother. Ape was being carted in a cage through the jungle by the two hunters, annoying them nonstop with endless chatter. And honestly, he was kind of enjoying himself because he really was just driving them, well, bananas.

Jensen on the other hand had made his way to the treehouse, which was trashed and torn apart.

“Poor Ape brother,” he muttered, closing his eyes. But then they flew open as he heard the hunters arguing. They had ended back at the treehouse, Ape having led them in circles. Jensen jumped out of the treehouse, landing on his face before the hunters grabbed him with plans to rough the jungle man up. But Jensen wasn’t going to go down without a fight, beginning to fight them back, the three of them falling into a comedic fight, with one of the hunters just finally pulling his rifle out. Jensen was about to make a run for it, maybe barrel into the guy, when a scream could be heard.

“Ahhhahhhhhahhh!” Jared yelled, swinging down from the vines in his adventure clothes, knocking the hunter down and running into a tree, just like Jensen always did. As he was falling down from his vine and into Jensen’s arms. “Jensen! Jensen, I came to tell you-”

“Jared, talk later. Jensen busy now,” he said, putting Jared down so he could finish the fight. Once both of the hunters were knocked out, he ran back over to Jared and picked him up in his arms, carrying him over to the treehouse. “Now Jensen can talk,” he said, letting him down. “Now what did Jared come back to say?”

“That I know, in my heart, that I-”

“Haven’t seen the light yet.” Jared and Jensen turned to see Misha standing there, looking smug. 

“Misha?” they both asked, clearly confused. But yes, it was Misha, who had escaped the jail, joined an obscure cult, which empowered him with a peculiar piece of parchment. “What are you doing here?” Jared asked.

“Surprise my lovebug,” he said, giving Jared his smug, smartass-y smile. “I am not a mail order minister, ordained in the church of celestial power and light incorporated, capable of performing legally binding marriage ceremonies anywhere.’

“Misha I’m not marrying you!” Jared said, exasperated at Misha’s antics.

“Actually you are. Come on,” he said, grabbing Jared’s arm and pulling him away. Jared was surprised by how strong Misha was now, he couldn’t get away

“Now Jensen really mad,” he growled, about to charge at Misha when suddenly there was a cord around his neck and men were pulling him and holding him hostage.

“What can I say jungle man, the best man won,” Misha said, laughing haughtily. “Actually the man who brought mercenaries won,” he laughed again, the men nodding at Misha in respect. 

“Jensen!” Jared cried when Misha grabbed him and yanked him away.

“Jared!” 

…

Jensen was tied up and being carried away by these men, catching the eye of one of his small monkey friends, who he quickly chittered at. The monkey chittered back and then went on to summon more of Jensen’s ape brethren. Suddenly, the men were surrounded by a hoard of apes, who easily overpowered them and got Jensen free, locking the men up in his place. 

Thanking them and leaving the men at the mercy of his elephant friend, Jensen ran off in search of Jared.

…

  
  


“Misha stop it!” Jared was arguing as Misha tried to grab at him. “You’re such a jerk!” he said, kicking him this time. Misha scoffed and pulled Jared into a dark cave.

“You don’t know what you’re saying, it’s okay, I forgive you,” he scoffed, pulling Jared again and making the two of them fall down a waterfall. Jared came up spluttering for air as Misha dragged him towards a raft. “See, I even have a boat ready for us.” After clambering into the raft - because he didn’t see much choice at the moment - Jared tried to see if he could see Jensen anywhere in the surrounding trees. He just had to keep Misha distracted enough until he could get out of here.

“You’re crazy,” he said, making Misha laugh again. How was it possible that this man had gotten more self-centered since the last time he had seen him?

“Now that we’re past all of that, Minister Misha is here, ready to perform the ceremony. Do you, Jared, take me, Misha, to be your husband?”

“Get a grip Misha,” he said, giving him an unpleasant look. “No. No, and no.” Jared was distracted by the rapidly increasing sound of rushing water. He looked over Misha’s shoulder and his eyes widened in fear. “Misha… look!” Misha turned and looked - their small raft was aiming quickly for a pile of raging rocky rapids. Jared tried to steer, grabbing the oars of the float, but it was pointless - the rapids were too rough, they were jerking around all over the place.

Jensen was watching them, trying to figure out the best way to get down to them. He finally found a strong enough vine and went swinging down to the rapids, focusing on getting to Jared. He ended up crashing so hardly into a tree that he ended up knocking it down. Which was perfect, because now Jared could reach for him and they could grasp hands so Jensen could pull him up.

Misha fell face forward into the raft, not noticing that Jared wasn’t with him anymore. He forced what he thought was Jared to say ‘I do’, and when he came away from the cave he had drifted into, he was screaming as he was being kissed by an over-excited ape. 

Meanwhile, Jensen and Jared were catching their breath on the tree.

“Jensen, what I came here to say was, that, I love you.” Jensen gave a small smile as he met Jared’s eyes.

“Jared love Jensen?”

“So much.”

“Jensen love Jared too.” Jared laughed and leaned forward, giving Jensen a soft, long-overdue kiss. 

…

On the next new moon, Jared and Jensen were married. Jared got the small wedding he wanted, and Jensen got the man he loved. Jensen continued to wear Jared’s charm around his neck, and Jared now wore Jensen’s crocodile tooth around his neck. 

All of Jared’s friends, even his parents, had come to the jungle to celebrate their wedding; the natives who respected Jensen were all there, and so were all of his animal friends and family. 

After dancing and celebrating the day away, Jared and Jensen were ready to start their lives together, and live happily ever after. 

  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> Yeah, I still suck at editing. That hasn't changed in anything I write. 
> 
> But thanks for making it this far and I hope you check out the rest of the stories in this movie fic fest!


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